


To say Goodbye

by Fangirlmoon



Series: To build a family [5]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Autism, Autistic Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Childbirth, Derek Morgan & Spencer Reid Friendship, Derek Morgan Needs a Hug, F/M, Gun Violence, Heavy Angst, Hurt Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 08:14:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30018795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlmoon/pseuds/Fangirlmoon
Summary: Morgan's phone call he makes to the team when he is driving out to the UNSUB that shot Savannah and what he wants Spencer to know if he doesn't make it out alive.[In this AU Morgan and Spencer have lived together in the same house for years when Morgan and Savannah get serious she moves in with them and later Hank too. The parts can be read independently.]
Relationships: Derek Morgan & Spencer Reid, Savannah Hayes/Derek Morgan
Series: To build a family [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2178036
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	To say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> The parts aren't sorted chronologically

"Spencer are you there?"

"He is listening." Hotch moderates, the phone in the middle of them on the table in the small room the hospital provided. 

"You need to listen to me, kid say something please."

"I am here." Spencer speaks,his voice carrying the fear he feels for his best friend.

"Whatever happens- whatever happens when I get there you need to promise me you watch my kid grow up you. I need to know they have you in their life to protect them. To be there." 

"You need to turn around."

"I can't do that. He hurt my family. Promise to me that you stay with them? You need to know that you three are a family even if I am not there."

"Just come back." JJ puts an comforting arm around Spencer. 

"I love you kid. You are gonna be okay. But you need to promise me. I need to know that you have each others backs."

"I promise."

"Alright, I am gonna hang up now. You are gonna be okay. I promise you won't be alone." He didn't give Spencer a chance to say something, to beg him again to just turn around and come home and the phone on the table lights up again and the call disappeared. 

"No no no no no-"

"Spence-"

"No. No! Morgan can't- I need Morgan. Morgan can't do this."

"Spence!" JJ yells, her arm over his stomach pulling him away from the table were he wanted to grab the phone. "Spence you need to trust Garcia with this. She is going to find out where he is going and then we will help him."

"Let him have the phone he is not hurting anyone with this." Garcia tells her and Hotch grabs the phone from the table handing it to Reid. They will need his mind for this and he can't lose it now. 

"What do I do? What do I do? I need to call him again. I need to call him." JJ helps him unlock it and to go back to Morgan's contact. 

"I've got him." Garcia interrupts them. "I sent the address to your phones." 

It felt like no matter how fast they run, no matter how fast they drive they can't reach him fast enough and then the second phone call happens, Morgan's scared voice coming out of the intercom of the cars, the gunshots in between. "Spencer I need you to put your earbuds on. You don't want to hear this. Don't do this to yourself. They are in your right pocket."

"No Morgan listen-"

"Put them in. I can still hear you scream for-" Another gunshot. "Don't do this to yourself." 

With shaking hands he pulls them out putting one in, he won't hear what is being said when he puts the second one in, not with the low volume of the radio. It's perfectly represents how they want to know what is going on but also don't want to hear it.

"I don't know- I don't know what to say to you." 

"That's okay. That's okay just put them in. You will be okay. I will watch over you."

"I love you to the Saturn."

"I love you to the Saturn,kid." His voice is wobbly, cracking from the tears and the chuckle about their insider. "It will be okay." And then he does what he was told and he puts the other one in, his hands on top of them and he starts crying, looking down at his feet, knowing he will lose Morgan.  
He will have to live without Morgan.  
He won't see Morgan again.  
Morgan will be gone just like Gideon, just like Maeve, Morgan will be gone. 

He is to scared to move, his hands pressing on his ears, his eyes screwed shut and then he can feel someone next to him, and an arm around his body pulling him close and then a second arm and the car starts moving again.  
The person next to him just stays like this for a few moments, their nose buried in his hair until they try to get the hand of his ear. "Morgan said to keep my earbuds in. I don't want to hear Morgan die. Morgan is my best friend." The person tries again eventually getting it off and Spencer registers voices but he doesn't want to hear it. He wants to listen what Morgan said. He promised to Morgan. The person takes the earbud out too and Spencer starts sobbing more, he doesn't want everything to be quiet enough to hear the phone call. 

"It's okay,I am here Spencer. I am here."

Rossi has a hard time keeping his tears in while Hotch tries to blur out what is happening in the backseat by focussing on the road driving them back to the hospital.

"It's okay, deep breaths, I am here." Spencer is trying to get out of the hold by leaning sideways, desperately trying to block out the sound with his hand but they don't let go. "Listen to me. Listen to my voice."

He doesn't want to. He doesn't want to hear someone telling him what happened.

"You feel my hand? You focus on that. You focus on my hand. Like we always do. Breath out." The hand on his chest puts pressure on it and then relieves it again. "That's you sign to breath in you've got this." Spencer chokes a little bit coughing to get air in and it takes some time till he gets the rhythm. "This is good pretty boy. I am proud of you." His other hand strokes his hair back revealing more of his face. "You are doing good. Believe me I know this must have been scary but I am here. I am not going."

"I don't want you to go. You can't go.

"I am not, I am here." Morgan pulls him up right again, making him lean against him. "You can smell my cologne. Concentrate on that. I know you can. You smell when I even ones used your blanket."

"Smell works different to other senses. You react emotionally first and then identify it shortly after." Spencer brings out. "People can recall a smell with the accuracy of 60% after a year while visual recall is at 50% after three months." 

"That sounds about right what else?" He knows talking will help him to calm down and to ground himself in Morgan's arms.

"Prolonged exposure to unpleasant smells can actually impair your ability to smell."

"I remember that one you told me and Prentiss that on a case."

"Mm you." 

"Me." Spencer presses himself closer into Morgan's side, grabbing the hand that is laying over his stomach and starting to play with the fingers just like he always does. "And when we get back to the hospital we will go back out as four people living in our house."

"The baby."

"That's right"

"And you and Savannah." 

"Yeah me and Savannah and you." Spencer keeps repeating it and then it's time to let Morgan go to her for the birth. "I will be back,I promise, I love you."

"Love you too." He gets a quick kiss on the cheek and a tight hug and then is surprisingly for the others fine with staying there. JJ having a comforting arm on his knees and then finally Morgan comes out with the biggest smile on his face and pulls Spencer into a hug before letting go and leaning closer to his ear. "It's a boy. Lets tell them together." 

And with the most bright beam, that was ever seen on both of their faces at the same time they announce the gender and Morgan is being spoiled with hugs while Spencer sneaks off to Savannah who is exhausted laying in her hospital bed. "Can I come in?"

"Of course." She manages a weak smile already craving to get back to her child.

"How are you?"

"I feel like someone sucked the life out of me and just left some happiness."

"You got pretty good painkillers I assume."

"I did." Shyly Spencer sits down on the empty bed next to hers. "You look rough too." 

"I am okay. Morgan just announced the gender."

"Another boy in the house." They both chuckle at the played annoyance in her voice. "You saw him yet?"

"No I wanted to see you first."

"I am okay. I will be back on my feet in no time." 

"I know I just wanted to see you." 

"Well you can always come back she sure as hell won't be running away." Morgan tells him while entering the room. "C'mon meet the little one."

"Did you pick a name yet?"

"About that." Morgan wraps an arm around Spencer sitting down next to him. "We thought, you know, Hank for my pops."

"That's lovely. I like it."

"And we decided that he needs a middle name and we want him to be named Spencer." Savannah whispers, there wasn't really much strength left in her.

"Spencer means- oh." It took a moment to hit him. "Because of me?"

"Because of you."

"Thank you." He tears up when he is standing next to the little boy, the little hands grabbing his fingers as Hotch stands on the other side. 

"Tell him" Morgan encourages him and Spencer looks up, directly into Hotch's eyes like he probably never dared before and then does with the brightest smile.

"You are holding the hand of Hank Spencer Morgan."

**Author's Note:**

> You can find the Series to Morgan and Spencer living alone here:
> 
> [ **To create a home**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29343384) (1642 words) by [**Fangirlmoon**](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlmoon)  
>  Chapters: 3/3  
> Fandom: [Criminal Minds (US TV)](https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Criminal%20Minds%20\(US%20TV\))  
> Rating: Not Rated  
> Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings  
> Relationships: Derek Morgan & Spencer Reid  
> Characters: Derek Morgan, David Rossi, Spencer Reid, William LaMontagne Jr., Aaron Hotchner, Emily Prentiss, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, Penelope Garcia, Jack Hotchner, Henry LaMontagne  
> Additional Tags: Fluff and Angst, Autism, Autistic Spencer Reid  
> Series: Part 1 of [To build a home](https://archiveofourown.org/series/2155380)  
> Summary:
> 
> Morgan and Reid move in together.
> 
> This is an AU in which Morgan and Reid share a house (as friends). The parts can be read independently.  
> ____  
> (This first part follows immediately after the "Green" (linked in the notes) series. Therefore this is maybe a little bit confusing at some points but there will be a short summary in the notes so you can skip reading the series. But I think you will also be fine if you don't read the notes.)


End file.
